Money, always a difficult subject. As an artist I don’t make a lot of money. I wish I could make
a living from my art and I’m really working hard to reach my goals but for the time being this is how it is.
To make art you need to have time. One needs time to put up a business etc. that’s why I
always had part-time jobs. I would work 2 to 3 days a week to have time to do my art.
From friends who are not in the art-business I sometimes hear how lucky I am that I have all
this freedom to do what I want and that I’m doing my dream job.
When I say it’s all about choices I sometimes get an angry glare. How dare I say such a thing,
don’t I know they are stuck with all these responsibilities and I’m the lucky one?!
The thing is that doing your dream job doesn’t mean you’re in a dreamy situation. My income
doesn’t leave much room for frivolities like new furniture (almost everything I own I inherited
from grandparents and such), going shopping, going out for dinner, owning a car, replacing
home appliances or even vacation.
My boyfriend wants me to join him on a little getaway somewhere in the Netherlands,
nothing fancy but I’m totally panicking about the fact that my income has become even less
since I lost my job and I’m not used to spending money on big things that are not even a
material thing that will last for 15 years or so! I know, I’m a tight ass when it comes to spending
money…
Like I said, it’s a choice and I’m happy with mine. I tried the other thing and it didn’t work
for me. After food and sleep comes swooshing my brush or pencil on a piece of paper, that’s it!

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Just a short entry this week. This Sunday, 31st of May my colleagues and I at Studio
Grafisch Collectief Thoets open up our doors to the public.
We do this every year so friends, family and anyone who might be interested can have a
look at what we’ve been doing all year.
As a collective we also have a loyal group of donors that get a print made especially for
them and just them. This year the print was made by Jan Baas and Steven Toes. On the pic
below you can see them both working on the print.
Jan and Steven were inspired by the exhibition ‘the Oasis of Matisse’ that is now showing at
the Stedelijk Museum Amsterdam, because to us our studio is also like an oasis.
So everyone who is in the neighbourhood please feel welcome to stop by this Sunday!!


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A few months ago I felt like drawing my mom, she died two years ago and I wanted to do a
little portrait of her. When it was finished I put it on Facebook and got some really nice
comments. My friend Sanneke Griepink, who is an artist too, replied: ‘Hey you can do portraits
too!’ And somehow that little remark made me think. Yes, I can do portraits too, in fact it was
my favourite thing to do as a teenager, draw my family, actors, popstars… When did I quit again?
Oh right, right after I finished art academy.
Somehow doing portraits became a bad thing.

In the years after that I did one portrait I really liked doing and then right after one I really
hated and never finished. I ended up passing on the commission to a befriended artist and never
doing a portrait again.
As it turns out I don’t hate doing portraits, I just need to stay close to a way of working that fits
me.
Right now I’m working on a portrait of my brother and very much enjoying the process.
It’s not quite ready yet but still having fun and already looking forward to the next
portraitproject.

Another door I’m pondering to unlock is teaching, giving small courses from my home…



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Starting this blog I intended to share all my highs & lows that I would encounter in my art
adventures but as it turned out I didn’t. For the last 7 months it has been nothing but
tumbleweed here.

For me art or the act of making is very personal. When I don’t function properly, the making
doesn’t work properly. For some mysterious reason I didn’t have the energy to do anything.
As it turned out I was having a burn-out. The making had slowed down and for a short period
it even stopped. After the diagnose I continued working at my paid job but two months later
I also needed to press pause on that front and I ended up losing that job.

I’m doing better now but a lot has changed. No job (yet) and I had to give up my shared studio
at Retort.

Having a burn-out, losing my job and studio have inspired me to really take a good look at
myself and made me think and realise what I really want. What I want is to continue being an
artist, make money with my art and art related activities!

This April I rearranged my home so I can use that as my studio and maybe even as a space
to teach. Who needs a proper livingroom when most of your living consists of drawing?!

See you next week!



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After a hiatus of almost 7 months I’m back in the blogging game!
Long story but I want to start out on a positive note. Last year I participated in the Lemniscaat
illustration contest and
I’m planning to do so again this year so here is a detailed sketch of
one of the images I’m working on :)

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